This is just a bit of fun by the way!!

I never do coz it makes me fat!!!

I'm already suffering from early Middle Aged Spread, so a few dried up sandwiches wouldn't make THAT much difference, however, I don't eat at functions where I'm working because:-

(1) It's unprofessional

(2) I'm usually a bundle of nerves, and don't fancy spending the rest of the function reading the words "Armitage Shanks"

(3) The Brides Mother who made it is suffering from bad B.O or a fungal related problem

(4) I spotted the words "Tesco" on the bags they brought it in

(5) I have a very busy weekend, and don't fancy covering further gigs whilst suffering from food poisoning.

Other than that, whoever is with me, helping at the gig, can make up their own mind but ONLY when invited to do so by the host/ess.

Which brings up another question?..."Shall we eat or go to McDonalds??"

I never eat at functions unless the host brings me a plate of food without me asking - it does happen! usually ill get roadie to go fetch some Mc Donalds if theres somewhere sly to eat it (ie in the van one at a time)
oh yeah - and id only touch food if its a nice posh do with tasty treats!dont want no food poisioning!

Must agree with chris, never eat at parties cos I've had a couple of bad memories from buffets

Still I've got a story to put you off of mcy d's forever!!

Ha ha... always tricky this...should I, or shouldnt I... I covered this in another thread on the forum, but happy to do so again.

If the crowd seems "appreciative" of any antics that I've already done that evening...then something unusual takes place after the queue has disappeared from the buffet table.

The background music fades, all the Roadshow lights dim...except the red ones which pulse on and off....A red alert klaxon sounds (off of the Star Trek sound effects CD)...and the James Bond theme music starts.

I pop up from behind the decks, wearing green balaclaver helmet (and still in bow tie, dinner jacket etc)...and I steathly tip-toe/wall hug my way to the buffet table using all available natural cover...Pillars, Pushchairs, people, balloon sculptures etc etc... make it to the buffet table....look around for Odd Job/Jaws etc... grab a plate...chuck about 5 random items on it and dash (crouched) back behind the Disco, where I hit "start" on the Milk Tray music....and say into the Mic... "And all because your DJ loves, Prawn Vol-au-vants, Egg sandwiches, Vegatable samosa, chicken nuggets....etc...etc...etc... to fade...

I keep toying with the idea of adding a few sound effects of gun shots, or a quick (invisible) fist fight etc...but havent got around to it yet...

As pointed out by someone here, last time I posted this, the use of the balaclavier helmet is not recommended in Northern Ireland. just in case... and I guess the same advice applies to Army base gigs.

I usually refrain from buffet food, unless I'm asked. I'm hungry and it is fresh! Most of the time, especially with wedding receptions the food has been out ages, festering in the warm summers sun visited regularly by monster blue bottles... ..sometimes your hunger just dissapears! Then the evening guests arrive and eat it!!!!

When I was a little younger, free-er, but not entirely single(ish)... we used to do the disco, wait for the guests to leave and then (with the hotels agreement) swipe the decent leftovers of the buffet and tupperware them....we would then pack up really slowly (it was a hotel who actually considered us packing up slowly to be a security BONUS!!!)

Then about 3am, we'd drive to the nearest beach, arrive about 4am, just as its getting light, get prime place on the beach, catch some ZZZ'zzz for a couple of hours. While everyone else was making do with Petrol Station Pasty, or something home made, we were digging into the coolbox for Vul-au-vents, pineapple and cheese on sticks, Salmon and cucumber sammy's, samosa's.....ummm UM!

Thats the incentive in keeping them dancing all night....keeping them away from the buffet. !!!

Im far too crafty.....I always make sure that I am well in with the chef at my hotels.... give him a treat once in a while then if I am hungry I will very sweetly ask him to knock me up a quick something to take home with me in a doggy bag!! Its always fresh and hasnt been spat over by enthusiastic guests eye-ing up the buffet waiting to dive in.
........Worse thing with "home made" buffet food (this is why I NEVER eat from the public trough... stopped years ago).... Have you ever eyed up a really tasty looking quiche... bitten into it only to find that the pastry is RAW! EEEUKKKKK!..... Mind you, wedding cake has certainly come on in the last few years.... (ADS knows a thing or two about CAKE!!!!)

I usually don't eat any of the buffet simpy cos I don't wanna get grease, crumbs etc all over my eqpt!
Last saturday though I dunno how I managed to refrain!
I'd been playing football in the afternoon, and then went home, loaded the gear and straight to a gig with no time to eat; by about 8pm I was absolutely famished , and was sorely tempted to tuck into the buffet, but resisted it and pigged out when I got home at 3am!

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I always make sure that I am well in with the chef at my hotels.... give him a treat once in a while

Oh Yes Karen????, What sort of Treat???

P.S - its always good to be "Well in" with Sound & Lighting distributors as well!

I thought I was well in with a certain sound and light distr.!! If only you had been in on the chat when I got in on sunday then you would be in the "Know" as to what I did to a certain chef.... mind you it was totally out of character for me!!!!!! But it did make his night.... I reckon I could eat at that hotel for free for the rest of my life now!!! ... even when Im not working there!

OMG another decent chat session missed!!! Do you think we could have a seperate thread with all the juicy bits in? Or is somebody gonna write a book "my days on the road and other stories" by Dave Doubledecks?????

i'm first in line!

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Do you think we could have a seperate thread with all the juicy bits in?

Gary's your man for this one