Thought i would start off a chat on a fun subject after a punter asked me to play the song he had heard on the radio earlier that day, no title ,no artist and he insisted that i knew what he was talking about. Have also been asked to play "the song by that black woman, you know the one who sings" ! The challenge is i was once asked to play a song called " Africa ", not Toto and not Rose Laurens from 83, i got it in the end but can you ?

Didn't you know?

In addition to being a D.J and selling Equipment, I'm also a full time Clairvoyant & Juggler and on my days off I can be found turning water into wine, feeding 5000 people from one Warburtons Loaf, and for my finale' - I walk on water!.

Well that's what my punters expect for parting with their £120 booking fee.

QUOTE

I can be found turning water into wine

Great! you can come & live with me

In the latest revision of the bible, he turns water into Barcadi Breezers, which is thankfully bringing the church more into line with todays youth...

Just kidding, before my name gets added to footnotes in Gideons Bibles, in hotel rooms across the world.

I had a request about 3 months ago from a middle aged lady (dressed as a 19 year old...as they do) coming up asking me for "that song where the girls singing about being in love, and they're both 11 years old"... Rather than the usual "eerrrm, oh yes, I think I know the one you mean...I'll have a look..." I upfront told her that I didnt know of any song that went quite like that... so asked her to sing it...

After eyeing my mic, and ensuring it was OFF (Damn!!! ) she started singing...."Baby you're all that I need, when I'm lying close in your arms, I'm finding it hard to beleive, WE'RE ELEVEN...."

Some biddies need better Kitchen Radio's......or better factory fitted speakers in their Nova's.

QUOTE

In the latest revision of the bible, he turns water into Barcadi Breezers, which is thankfully bringing the church more into line with todays youth...

Haha, this reminds me of an unfortunate but amusing situation which happened several years ago after a funeral of a relative. The vicar had been invited to the wake following the funeral, and turned up at the house and proceeded to mingle with the rest of the guest's and family members.

He got talking to my Cousin, who was 15 at the time, and asked him, as a "representative" of the Youth of the day, what would persuade him and his mates to attend the usual Sunday Services. Much to the embarrassment of me and his parents, my Cousin simply replied......"A Bar"

QUOTE (paula @ Jun 16 2003, 09:56 AM)

QUOTE Great! you can come & live with me

Oooooo Paula!....well I think that is going to be the best offer i'm ever going to get on here

So i'll contact the Removal's firm and start moving my stock down to your garage....and I take size 9 slippers, and I like to be woken for breakfast at about 7AM with a nice greasy fry up.

What would you prefer:- Church or registry service??, and shall we get Mikeee or Spin to do the Disco?.

Thats got the gossips gossiping!....

- Ouch...Paula put that Mackerel Down!.

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and shall we get Mikeee or Spin to do the Disco?.

Well Thats the other 295 members and myself alienated from the event then....

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Well  Thats the other 295 members and myself alienated from the event then....

Well we need a caterer Gary, what are you like with a loaf of bread and a tin of SPAM??

And SBD and Darlo will look very smart in their Pageboy Outfits!.

We couldn't get Charlotte Church to sing for the reception, so Paula's Karaoke and Karen have been lined up.

Spin likes dressing up so that's the bridesmaid taken care off

We just need the D.J now...Oh and the Bride - I think Paula has got cold feet!.

QUOTE

Thats the other 295 members and myself alienated from the event then....

Thats ok, We'll all turn up for the -LOL-then some more

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I think Paula has got cold feet!.

I'm sorry I spoke now......

"Africa" i got the punter to sing it " aah Freak Aah" she sang in atempt to sound like chic !

QUOTE (paula @ Jun 16 2003, 11:51 AM)

QUOTE I think Paula has got cold feet!.

Don't worry about the frozen footzies...a double electric blanket with extra heating at the foot end is an ideal wedding pressie for the "mix" of Chris 'n' Paula...

Paula Pointon.... now theres a tongue twister .....maybe I should re-phrase that...

Quite amazing how one goes from daft punters requests to proposals and wedding preparations in just a few e mails,you guys sure are creative. As i started this one i shall expect a wedding invite. I do not take any responsibility for any future messy divorces however!

QUOTE

Quite amazing how one goes from daft punters requests to proposals and wedding preparations in just a few e mails,you guys sure are creative

I prefer to think of it as "Never Miss an Opportunity"

When you start heading into the darkness that is Middle Age, then you have treasure each flicker of light that comes your way. And basically take whatever you can get......Ooops that came out a bit wrong - Sorry Paula

ROFL

QUOTE

And basically take whatever you can get......Ooops that came out a bit wrong - Sorry Paula

Chris is gonna get the 'Big' hammer tonight!

Chris, for the sake of your health i hope that Paula is 1. a lady, 2. not bigger than you ! 3. not in your immediate neighbourhood. If she is then i suggest you come and visit me in Norway for a few weeks !

QUOTE (Gary @ Jun 16 2003, 10:07 AM)

I had a request about 3 months ago from a middle aged lady (dressed as a 19 year old...as they do) coming up asking me for "that song where the girls singing about being in love, and they're both 11 years old"... Rather than the usual "eerrrm, oh yes, I think I know the one you mean...I'll have a look..." I upfront told her that I didnt know of any song that went quite like that... so asked her to sing it... After eyeing my mic, and ensuring it was OFF (Damn!!! ) she started singing...."Baby you're all that I need, when I'm lying close in your arms, I'm finding it hard to beleive, WE'RE ELEVEN...." Some biddies need better Kitchen Radio's......or better factory fitted speakers in their Nova's.

Hey gary that song is dj sammy and heven sorry to give it away!

QUOTE (djcs59 @ Jun 16 2003, 06:00 PM)

Chris, for the sake of your health i hope that Paula is 1. a lady, 2. not bigger than you ! 3. not in your immediate neighbourhood. If she is then i suggest you come and visit me in Norway for a few weeks !

(1) There are rumours flying around that "Paula" is really a 48 Year Old, 20 Stone Brick Layer from Lancashire

(2) I hope not....but then again most woman are taller than me, height wise I could be described as a Munchkin

(3) No, Lucky for me there is about 200 miles between me and Paula. Although I'm gonna pay for it when we meet up at the PLASA in September

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Baby you're all that I need, when I'm lying close in your arms, I'm finding it hard to beleive, WE'RE ELEVEN..

There are places in Tyne & Wear where that would apply

QUOTE

most woman are taller than me, height wise I could be described as a Munchkin

Don't worry chris, I'm a smurf too, But have a deeper voice and built like a brick house rock ( pic of me Dj Demon!!!)

Pic of me Dj demon

QUOTE

Pic of me Dj demon

You mean this dodgy looking geezer!.....

Strange that ,have been discribed as a hobbit and dwarf myself,must have something to do with being a dj,all that lugging of gear stunts your growth ! Think possibility of growing anymore is out of the question at the age of 44 !

short no i'm 6 foot, saying that i've got long arms from carrying these speakers around.........

QUOTE (Dj_Kray @ Jun 16 2003, 08:28 PM)

Hey gary that song is dj sammy and heven sorry to give it away!

I wasnt trying to hide the identity of the song this time DJ Kray... Thats why I put some many lyrics in it this time...

The daft thing is, I cant remember any of the other "tricky to identify" requests that I've had....ARGH!!!

You know, the ones where the punter says..."Its from my era lovey" (old dear/pensioner), "its a female singer, but very deep" and "its a romantic song"... then later, when they're dancing to "Scooter: Logical Song" they yell at you from the dancefloor..."Cheers, this was my song that I wanted..."

OK...maybe an over the top example, but Im sure we've all had similarly frustrating descriptions of "that song" that we "must have"...because "Every other DJ in the area plays it..."

Oh, and by the way ....

"a"

Heres the "a" that you missed out of "Heaven"...

QUOTE

You mean this dodgy looking geezer!.....

What do you mean, least you will be able to recognise me at PLASA-LOL


I'm
5ft 6"
Size 10 shoes
and will be holding a bottle of bud!!!

QUOTE

No, Lucky for me there is about 200 miles between me and Paula. Although I'm gonna pay for it when we meet up at the PLASA in September

you most certainley are very right on that one

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height wise I could be described as a Munchkin

I spoke to Spin & Mike & just in case we miss you at plasa were sending you a grow bag to plant yourself in this week.
Dont forget to drink water twice a day.

QUOTE

You mean this dodgy looking geezer!.....

Yes I agree he does look a dodgy gezzer!

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I'm 5ft 6" Size 10 shoes and will be holding a bottle of bud!!!

Isn't that a polite way of saying you're A small alcoholic with large feet?.

Hang on a sec, you are 16, what are you doing with a Bottle of Bud??....


Hopefully bringing it to me!!!!!!

Nice to see you guys are all so nice to one another, saw Paula had offered a grow bag ,does this mean that she has experience with this kind of equipment ? And how much will Chris have to pay in September ?

Yes, Paula has a habit of Making things Grow and Mikeee, Peteee, Spin often leave the Chat Room with a smile on their faces....they must be keen gardeners!.

Anybody else want their Photo putting up?, Paula???, and hum.....Paula?.

The last time we put your photo up Paula we had no trouble on the Forum whatsoever so it must have served as a good deterent, we get NO gatecrashers when Paula is on the door

I wish that i hadnt asked, but its nice to know that things grow on some people, i have been married so long ive forgotten !

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Yes I agree he does look a dodgy gezzer!

What ever do you mean Paula, nothing dodgy about me!!!-Its mikeee you have to worry about-LOL

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Anybody else want their Photo putting up?, Paula???, and hum.....Paula?.

Yeah, give us a pic Paula!!!

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Isn't that a polite way of saying you're A small alcoholic with large feet?.

Yes

QUOTE

Hang on a sec, you are 16, what are you doing with a Bottle of Bud??.... Hopefully bringing it to me!!!!!!

uuuummm-NO-LOL

I was on the buds when that pic was taken-Dodgy!!!LOL

And, it was 6 in the morning from doing an all nighter with the rest of the djs and mcs on the site.

I'm tired-all nighters do your head in!!!!

SBD I've been thinking all Morning of who you remind me off and i've just realised...

A Young Chris Moyles

(Could have been worse, I could have said Chris Evans!)

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SBD I've been thinking all Morning of who you remind me off and i've just realised... A Young Chris Moyles

uuummm-suppose your right-I'm gonna have to get back to the gym,and get ready for PLASA.

QUOTE

(Could have been worse, I could have said Chris Evans!)

Yeah, one advantage I've got Billie Piper as a cleaner and a cook-LOL

God....i'm gone for 2 days, and this topic comes up about biblical quotes, people moving to

another's, 295 members being burned, carters, slippers, photos, paula, bags, buds, growing

stuff, gatechrushers, quotes, people thinking of another, dodgy geezers, old ladies dressed as

19 year olds, garderners, marriage, drinks, 16 year olds with drinks, and etc.....what you

people do without me! Tsk Tsk So what else is new?

LOL-Mobile_dj_crooks

ITS ALL CHRIS'S FAULT-LOL

Yeah it is all CHRIS'S fault.


No pictures

QUOTE

No pictures

That was the only thing keeping the Members here...the possibility of seeing your photo again!. Now we might as well go and open a wet fish shop

no pictures...Damn and i've gone and made the forum a Members only one! to keep out the rif raf (It was pure luck that SBD got in!)

QUOTE

keep out the rif raf (It was pure luck that SBD got in!)

What do you mean "pure luck" I'm confused-What do you mean is that good or bad- LOL

Ummm No Comment.
Paula, do you prefer Red or White. French, German, Australian, Californian, Spanish, Itlian. Just let me know....sweety

Still waiting for your answer-chris

Just out of intrest how come you all seem to want to see a pic of paula is she hot

QUOTE

Paula, do you prefer Red or White. French, German, Australian, Californian, Spanish, Itlian. Just let me know....sweety

Ha! Yes Paula, Mikeee's got all nationalities of guys on his books...take yer pick... But if going for something German and Full bodied, watch out for Hans...(So I'm told)

DJ Kray...you've obviously not heard about Paula's Pink Boots. Which I'm hoping Paula will be wearing to Plasa... if Chris returns them (cleaned) in time for September.

LOL.....maybe paula should show her picture so everyone would stop asking about it.....

Gary! DUH! Mikee meant wine!
Italian Red please!

QUOTE

maybe paula should show her picture so everyone would stop asking about it

No she shouldnt! we are not having this discussion again.
BE TOLD.

QUOTE

Paula's Pink Boots. Which I'm hoping Paula will be wearing to Plasa..

It'll be hot in september, are you mad? or maybe I should see what goodies i can sneak out in em!

QUOTE

want to see a pic of paula is she hot

QUOTE

Paula, do you prefer Red or White. French, German, Australian, Californian, Spanish, Itlian. Just let me know....sweety   Ha! Yes Paula, Mikeee's got all nationalities of guys on his books

How many Red people do you know?? - unless Mikeee has fallen asleep in the Sun again...or are we talking Russians here??

QUOTE

Just out of intrest how come you all seem to want to see a pic of paula is she hot

Well she melts Metal.......looking at the picture she put up (if it was her!) the amount to traffic to "Paula's photo" almost crashed the board. Just working on my latest forum feature Paula......VIDEO CHAT, lol do you have a webcam?

For all of those who missed it earlier in the year...here is a picture of Paula:-

I HATE YOU

Now, now Paula, dont get mad ,get even ! Chris has been making sexy comments about you for days and obviously finds you very attractive.

When you get to my age even THAT picture looks attractive *Sigh*

You are only as old as the woman you feel ! Probably most of us are around your age ! Its when bits start falling that you know you are old