I've got a wedding coming up in a few weeks...normal sort of timings, you know...7:30pm til midnight, with about 30 minutes of background music while the guest munch the buffet... eg: A 4 hour gig.

Four hours for the guests of the Bride & Groom to hear songs that they like, requests songs that they like, and...DANCE to songs that they like...

Well, it seems like this Bride & Groom have got some other ideas...especially their choice comments about what I should tell guests who request tunes that are on the "DONT PLAY" part of the list.

Heres the list: (suggestion: Make a long drink first! )

Hmmm?
Here's one way of looking at it:

Ok - It's their day, and this is the music they want. If you have most of the music, then the old waitlist or pre-burn is going to be the 'order for the day'!

Firstly, i would make life as easy as possible for yourself by letting the client know what you have or havn't got. (But you've probably covered that already)

Secondly, as the music request list is not typical of other Weddings that your normally asked to provide for, are they 100% sure they don't mind the order of music?

Which leads me to the next point........

There are some good tunes in there - but the play-order is gonna be a small headache!!!!!
Perhaps the B&G could suggest 15-20 (yes) favorite songs from their list for the Buffett.
I know that 20 songs could exceed an hour - but it's better to be on the side of caution, and cunning too!

Then, if you havn't played all the tracks during the buffett - carry them over to the main set!!! The B&G are probably 'deep' into music themselves really - but on another plain of existance.....and so what!!! It's their day afterall!!!!

The important thing is to please the clients first, no?

If you can keep the B&G 'happy' with the content already chosen - you'll have no worries.

Given some of the artiste's chosen - would the B&G mind if you had other tracks on hand from the same artiste's - in case of the odd request like "Hey DJ, do you have the new Morrissey song?" or other Verve tracks or GnR's "Sweet Child Of Mine"???

Some specific tunes may be requested 'louder' than others, eg Oasis, Blur, Radiohead, Electric 6? (the 'anthems'). Do the B&G mind if the guests ask for these and other specific artistes to be raised in audio volume?
(Be prepaired and take a spare 'singers' mic - just in case.....I have a hunch )

No matter how much you emphasise that the music list is specifically chosen by the Bride & Groom - expect the occasional comment or idiot! But don't worry - the B&G are already on yourside!!!! Just play what they want!

I think you'll have a good, but slightly different night.
I wouldn't leave any of your regular / usual tracks behind - just in case, eh?!
But don't feel like a Jukebox - operate those buttons and keys in your usual presentation style - and smile!
Goodluck - enjoy the 'carrying ons'!!

BTW The Boo Radleys - There she goes again.....I think the "LAs" did this track.
Did they mean The Boo Radleys Lulu?

Hi

they're obviously not massively into music as they'd know that Ugly Kid Joe did "everything about you", bloody punters!

This is why when folks choose their music from me, I allow them only 10 must play songs, the rest are stuck into the play if possible catagory.

I think I'd personally pass with this gig as I wouldn't feel very comfortable working with someone so inflexible.

Darren

My responce to this gig: Leave it!

When booking the function, I wonder if they told the Photographer how to take the pictures, The Chauffers how to drive the car, the caterer how to cut the pork pie or the printer exactly how to use the printer. We are all pro's who are willing to listen to reasonable requests, but these are just not reasonable!

People like this are selfish individuals, I would decline the booking stating why and pass them on to an agency who could deal with them. I have no time for them.

Now where's my Nolans album....?

Leave poor gary alone you lot, he knows what hes doing, he posted the list for your entertainment not for a lecture on what to tell the Bride and Groom

I'm with Kingy on this one. Unless you've already contracted to the gig, then I think it goes beyond reasonable expectation.

Would like to recommend Motorhead - Ace of spades as the first dance ! Failing that Dead Kennedys -Too drunk to F**k

I wouldn't take it, unless it was at one of my hotels.

When a plumber comes to mend my tap. I don't tell him how to do his job, otherwise I could do it myself, same when I take my car to the garage etc etc

tell them you could do a CD with everything on, supply a CD player form Tandy, with instructions and charge them £100.

Poor s*d! Gary, I have had three like this this year. They all turned out really good because there was a critical mass of audience really into this *music*. If i were you, I would do what I did:

Burn 3 copies of mp3 cds with all the tracks on them, put each cd in a dn-d4000, and go kinda jukebox mode!

I have to agree with the B&G on these points though:

Alas, its a "Done & dusted" booking for my primary venue, who already said "Yes" for me. They're nice like that....

Besides, with only a couple of weeks to go, Im not about to leave 'em in the lurch.

I have got about half the tracks which they're asking for, however, I just dont think that their choice of tracks will keep a roomfull of guests enthralled for 4 hours.

Im going to stick my neck out on the night and, without stepping on the Bride & Grooms "Dont play" list, I will be favouring the guests requests for what they want to dance to, perhaps 49%/51% favouring the guests.

I will be keeping the bride & dooms music request sheets with me, to show to any guest humane enough to be requesting things from the forbidden music list.

Also, I intend to forward an email to the B&G, explaining that their original list "over runs" significantly, and telling them that I will need to prune off the "less publically favoured" or "less widely appreciated" tracks and stating that they'll need to provide whichever first record they decide upon.

The list from the couple, together with the comments about their guests request make me think that this couple are very set in their ways, selfish, and expecting resistance from the guests.

If I can get 230 happy faces by the end of the night...great, but I dont want 228 frowning ones.

I think that the more appealing tracks are going to have seamless loops applied to them, to leave less time for the funeral derge remainders. Similarly, the buffet background music will definately be used as a musical dumping ground for the worst tracks from "Bride & Groom F

Poor Old Gary,

Not only the Country Music Night that you had a while back, but now a playlist like that. Have you been cursed?

My Advice, next time the Gypsy's knock on your Door, buy their Bloody Tarmac and Clothes Pegs! .

What a great play list! okay granted a bit on the long side but some cracking tunes in there.

I think you will be suprised on how well alot of these go down. Okay its a wedding and not a sports club presentation. but this type of music is becoming more and more popular at parties, well for me anyway but i always have been a little rock driven.

You will no doubt find that the bride and grooms closest friends and family will be loving it and the rest of the guests might just sit there with that "why am i here again" look on their faces.

I once did a wedding with black sabath - paranoid as the first dance... it did make me chuckle when the whole room just went off. It bought back memories of when i was resident at a rock club called 'alkatraz' in lecister.

Just go with it Gary you never know they might all be into that kind of music and it could be a storming night

oh and Dan the boo radleys did exactly the same song, i have no idea who did it first though. The boo radleys version has a very odd cheesy sounding synth brass part at the begining and uses alot of FX. But yeah its basically the same song

Thats a definite NO NO for me.It would be a nightmare.
Apart from not having more than 75% of the tracks requested I cant say I have heard of a lot of them.
To cover that sort of playlist plus the usual tracks that you would expect to play at any given gig must mean that you have a massive selection.
It appears that you can cover their requests so I suppose there is no problem;its a booking.Take the money and run!!

I have just gone thro the playlist again and there are 23 groups/artists on there that I have never heard of and certainly havent got tracks by.Of the remaining ones I think I could possibly find 8 tracks.
I suppose you could say that a playlist like that "sorts the men out from the boys"

I've dug out the phone number of an old friend who only DJ's Rock and indie nights in clubs and given him a call becuase of this thread, im adding his details to my web site so that if i get asked to play a list like the one given to gary i can recomed they hire the specialist............

So in a way this topic has helped me expand my business

and best of all , i got invited to a rock night to drink free beer and see what all the fuss is about

The bride is indeed American - and thats an additional cause for concern... some of her family and friends will be attending (I would imagine)... and the chances of half a room of UK people of assorted ages, and half a room of US people of assorted ages both being "into" the same sort of music...THIS sort of music, seems even less remote.

Somehow I doubt that the Bride & Groom will be dancing all night...

This is the thing...where "word of mouth" bookings are concerned I'm more concerned that all the guests go away from the gig (the UK guests that is...) thinking, "yeah, I enjoyed alot of the music he played", rather than all those guests leaving, disgruntelled - with the thoughts of "He doesnt play very good music - I wont book him for that party that I had in mind".

The bride & groom wont need another disco in the foreseeable future, (even though I do broadcast that I offer a 10% discount for the Christening disco IF its within 8 months of the wedding!)...so from a word-of-mouth point of view, the opinion of those 2 people matters less to me with regards to FUTURE bookings, than all of their potential future hirers....erm, I mean...all of their guests. However, if the bride and groom arent happy on the night, then they'll blab to everyone within earshot, and as its their wedding day, everyone will agree with them.

Another angle on this is that the Americans are real hot on "customer service", so I'll just have to play the 30 or so tunes from my collection that I've got, and be done with it.

I'm thinking that I might pop a copy of the Bride & Grooms list off "Plays" and "Dont Plays" on each table, along with my request slips. This serves two purposes:

1) It should prevent people requesting "forbidden songs".
2) It should let guests know that the dire stuff is not of my own choosing.


The UPside of the instructions, is that the "Dont Plays" are not toooo wide ranging - except the bit that says "No Dance music" which is a bit ambiguous. So...their guests can request all sorts of tracks, the ABBA's, the Status Quos, The build me up buttercups etc, without their requests (or me) falling foul of the Bride & Groom.

The one thing that I do NOT want to happen is the Happy Couple, or their Best Man/Users etc, being "overly interactive" eg: Running up to me 10 seconds into a track saying "Take this off. I know it wasnt on the forbidden list, but the Bride says she doesnt like it...". If it gets like that then they can fully expect 12+ minute versions of tracks which ARE liked by all.

I think I would simply ask the B&G what they would want me to do in the event that none of the guests are "going with" their play list. I would ask them if they would then like me to try some of my own ideas or if they want me to stick only to their play list. Find out whats important to them.... whether they want their own music all night which might not go down well with their guests, and result in an empty dance floor.... or if they want a really good full dance floor. However, this said, they might have already asked some of their guests what they want playing on the night and this list could be a combination of the b&g and the guests choice.. in which case, they have made a really easy night for you!

Its a difficult call for you gazze.... there is the old saying "he who pays the piper calls the tune".... but it could obviously work against you. If they are hard and fast in their choices of what they want you to play.. and they expect to have the list adhered to, I wouldnt bother putting out request slips... and I think I would be inclined to mention that I will be playing tunes specifically requested by the bride and groom the whole evening! Good luck!

this is something that is very similar to a situation I have at the moment, In the summer of 2006, the lovely Sharon & I are re-newing our wedding vows, as this will be our 20th anniversary, (mainly because we had a very small affair 1st time round)

the venue that we have found insist that we use their "resident DJ", as they don't like any others to play there

now as you can imagine Sharon & I have a certain taste in music (the same as 80% of our friends, although we do not have a playlist, we will expect music to be played of a certain style. We have explained this to the venue management who feel that if we chat to their DJ, he be able to accomodate us. I have had a little chat with him & listed some of the style of songs that we would want, i.e. 70's & 80's soul, some older funk tunes and some jazz, he had not heard of any of the songs. I then said would it be OK if i got a DJ to use his equipment, he refused this.

So what do we do, we really want this venue, but not the DJ, shall we put up with dave double decks (who assures us that he knows best and everyone of our guests will have a good time) or find another venue, where we can provide our own DJ to play the music we want

are we the clients from hell, as many of you feel this couple are, or do we know what we want, because if our music is not played, our day will be ruined

Ian many venue's do this so they can earn money from you booking there DJ. Dave double decks aas you have discoverd is not who you want for this big day of yours, what you need to do is find a new venue or insist to the venue management that they find a disco that is of a better standard and see what they say.

my friend fell into this trap with his wedding , I didnt want to DJ as I wanted to be of duty that night with a beer in my hand , when 200 guests arrived to find a couple of traffic lights and some speakers from the local tandy store plus dave double decks who only had a very limmited cd collection. It ended the party before it started.

best of luck and dont forget to invite all the DJU members to the party

The difference here Ian, as I see it, is the type of music chosen.

You and your good wife are asking for , 70's & 80's soul, some older funk tunes and some jazz....which is, to my mind a fairly easy-going, widely acceptable selection of genres. Middle of the road enough, that even Auntie Gladys will clamber up to the dancefloor and sway from one side to the other for a few tunes until her Ovaltine wears off...even if shes never heard of the tune, or artist.

This wedding in 2 weeks time however has listed more thrashy, twangy, undancable, hard~on~the~ears, overdriven, whiny electric guitar tracks, than will fit into the gig timings anyway.

I propose that there are 3 ways in which people can feel about music (or anything for that matter). They can like it, hate it, or simply be "unmoved" either way.

If I were a guest at the wedding in 2 weeks, Id be off in a distant bar at the venue, making my excuses as soon as the last vegi-samosa and Vul~au~vent was washed down...However, with the music that you're proposing, Id at least stay till last orders!

I still stick with what I said earlier this morning.

And I think Ian Stewart has put a very good point across:

Gary, nice list, sounds like half the functions I've done this year - around your area!

American - My favourite.

As mentioned the garter throw and "dollar dance", this will depend on what part of the states they come from. The dollar dance only really works for people from the "southern" states. Garter throw - hit and miss.

What they may want is the Father / Daughter, Mother / Son dances, which follow the first dance.

Speak to the B & G, and ask what format they want.

Also, our friends from accross the pond normally do London and a show, Mama Mia being the most popular, so lots of Abba.

You may find that they don't want lots of lights, if any at all, the ones I've done over the last year or two like colour wash, and a couple of "effects" for later in the evening.

Any prob's give me a call, and I'll try and help as much as I can.

Gary's list to me is the list from hell.
I go along with Gary on this one.Ian's requested music is more likely to be widely acceptable and I dont think he is being unreasonable.At least you have plenty of time to dicuss the problem with all parties and come to some agreement,hopefully.
I cant imagine any dj from this forum being so unaccomodating.

Ian - I think that the hotel is out of order... My resident hotel only recommend me... they dont insist that every client books me. You could try talking to the manager, and tell him that as you are going to be specific on your music requirement, you want an assurance from the venue that the dj is able to cater for your particular needs. I think as the hotel is being unreasonable in insisting that you MUST HAVE their dj, then I would tell the manager in no uncertain terms, that if the dj does not play what you specifically require, then you will not be happy to pay the djs bill at the end. Out of interest, does the hotel bill you for the services of the dj - or does the dj bill you direct?...... I presume the latter which means that the hotel will actually "make" out of the dj.

Anyway, its YOURS and SHARONS day... and if you cant get the service you want, then I would serously consider choosing another venue where you are allowed to make your own choice of entertainment.

What a thread this has turned out to be!

Enjoy it, there is some GREAT stuff there (especially the rarities like Lemonheads)

Great thread!

Gary, looks like you've got a challenge on your hands here.

I'd go for being as honest as possible with the bride & groom. Let them know your concerns, and as someone else said ask them if they want you to help create a night where both they and their guests are entertained.

I always have my "don't dares" list on public view, next to my request sheets by my stand. It usually brings a few chuckles (even from people whose requested track is on the list)

While I agree with your concern for the night, I'd say, keep an open mind, this could turn out either way, hopefully one of your best nights. Although we all build our business through word of mouth, we have to be careful not to fall into a place where we are ignoring the clients wishes because we are afraid it might affect potential business from their guests. I know because I've felt this in the past "what if they think this is my usual set and no-one even considers booking me . Then you've got to think whether you're there to do a job or advertise your business, if you're that worried about your reputation the only thing to do is turn the gig down. ( I know it's not an option here)

Great one to ponder on (and one that would probably strike fear into most of us) but in spite of our natural tendancy to think the worst in these cases I'msure you'll have a great night.

Look forward to hearing the story....................

Good luck

Vinnie

After i did an anglo french/norwegian wedding with a 250 song list i decided that at future weddings i would not allow anymore than 10 songs on a playlist including the first dance! Arrogant i know but i still seem to get the bookings i need and i ask the customers to either trust my judgement or find another dj.

The difference Ian, is that you've listed a few genres...a general "idea" of what you're keen to listen to, rather than submitting 83 tracks for a gig thats only long enough for 60 of them (without getting "silly" on the Pitch control..... +50%...)

You've gone for the much more versatile "Heres the sort of thing we're after" approach leaving time for guests requests, rather than the "This one, and this one, and then this one" angle... which I've unavoidably ended up with.

I'm definately thinking of politely wording a "Limit" onto future music sheets, of say, 20 tracks (thats still around 1.5 hours worth). But then some hirers might think well, I'm hiring the Disco for 4 hours, so I should be able to have "my" choice of music for all 4 of those hours that Im paying for. I understand that point of view, but my primary concern is that no-one, including this bride & groom know ALL the music tastes of all their friends and families - time should be allowed for the guests to make their choices of music, so long as those choices dont directly appear on the "forbidden" list.

I've had a quick search through my collection, and out of the 83 tracks requested, I've got 55 of them - possibly a few (4 or 5) more lurking on vinyl - thats still more than enough to fill the 4 hour gig with. I'm adamant (no, I dont mean that I've got a white stripe across my nose) that I'm not buying any CD's to fill in the gaps, as I doubt I'll get the "plays" out of any such CD's to justify it. I'll already be investing my time in listening to the 55+ tracks that I'll be playing off of their list to get a feel for fast, medium, slow and "funeral derge" songs etc - to enable me to match certain songs to the audiences mood. (hard hat at the ready!).

I have watched this thread evolve with interest. MOST weddings in Ireland, Germany and the US have such lists now.

This was not the way in Ireland until about the last four years and it is a bit daunting when you come across it at first. We learned this from our American cousins, along with such other cultural delights as er, McDonalds and er, bagels...anyway...

[sidenote: why do we always get the McDonalds end of American culture and never their cheap prices and powerful internet facilities??? ]

Anyway, these type of weddings go surprisingly well. Treat them a bit differently to a UK style wedding disco. Accept that the dancefloor will frequently be less than optimal, but as other people have said it is the B&G's night.

Very important: DO keep the request list by your side. If anyone decides to take a hack off you just be very firm and don't apologise.

A typical conversation may happen like this:

"All the music you are playing is weird, why don't you play Gloria Gaynor..yadda yadda"
At this point take out your list and say "this is music specified by the bride and groom, do you want me to call the best man or chief bridesmaid so you can discuss it with him/her?"
Of course they never do...

DO not get bogged down in a conversation about the relative merits of various music. Several people I know have made "confidential" but not insulting remarks about the playlist to guests such as "Search me, it's all weird to me, but it's what they want" only to have this recounted to the bride possibly with amplification and exaggeration.

Remember some people at a wedding are only there because pressure was applied to the bride and groom to invite them against their better judgement. A certain per centage of these people will from time to time cause trouble deliberately and may involve you as a bit actor.

If anyone asks me to comment on the music (as I am extremely well known for having a preference for dance and soul), I just say "different strokes for different follks, I just enjoy seeing people enjoying themselves". This has the advantage of a) being true b) being totally incapable of being twisted into something negative.

Many people have commented in this thread that the song list is good. It is not to my taste, but I would have to say that it is good material. I think the night will go well.

When people provide me with a song list that is too long, I don't even comment. I just make sure that people specify which songs are their favourite. I have NEVER had someone come up to me saying "you didn't play all the songs", sometimes in the early part of this craze I did get "you never played xxxx and it was my favourite". This made me feel bad so I know I get them to highlight their favourite songs, and if there is a story attatching such as a holiday, so much the better if they tell me.

Try not to get bogged down in the details of which song is going to be axed. Several people I know do this and it ends up being agonising with people ringing up saying "oh, we said cut the Ramones, but it's Billy's favourite song, can you put it back in?". As has been said elesewhere in the thread, DJs are not a human jukebox. You know how much time is available. You can judge which songs are optimal to play.

I am sure it will go well, most people like to see the B&G enjoy themselves. Once you understand the goal is not dancefloor maximisation and the crowd understand there is a playlist....things go fine.

just to let you know, as a DJ, i ask for 15 tracks that i guarentee to play, any other tunes are at my discression.

If I was presented with a list, I would probably play the tunes for them, if I did not have the tunes, I'd ask them to provide the CD's for me to play.

as with your case, if there are too many tunes, I would inform the bride & groom of this and ask them to cut it down.

What you will proably find is that things will change on the night, after a few requests, and hardly anyone dancing the bride & groom will change their minds & leave it up to you

I wish you luck Gary.

Regarding wording a "Limit" onto future music sheets, this is what I do.

If I don't have a planing meeting with my customers (always do for weddings) I send them a single sided A4 request sheet which has three sections:

The must play section only has four lines to encourage people to not enter any more (but doesn’t prevent them). The text at the top of this section reads "please enter the artist, title, and any dedication, for songs that you would like played here. (You can include a first dance in this section.) I will then endeavour to make sure that these songs are played during the main part of the evening."

The next section is titled "Also Like:" is around half the page and has around 15 lines. The text accompanying reads "Please list any other songs you would like to hear and I will TRY to include them in to the rest of the evening. Please keep in mind that it is only possible to play around 15 songs an hour. Therefore to allow me the flexibility to include other popular songs, as well as requests from your guests on the night, please try to keep this to less than another 15 songs."

The "Do Not Play" section is around a third of the page (of A4) (around 10 lines) again designed to limit how many songs they put down.

However I get the ocassional customer who will provide a seperate sheet of songs as my form "didn't have enought room" for all the songs they want played.

I'd agree with Ian on this one.
It is the B&G's day and if they want a certain type of music so be it, they are paying for it after all. Why should they have to listen to Kylie for example if they can't stand her music?
Some people have used the reasoning that they are being selfish if they don't agree to a guests request, well you could turn this around and say that the guest(s) is/are being selfish asking for something they may know the B&G don't like, or something which they probably listen to at home all the time?

The majority of dj's if asked for jazz/funk/soul etc would play the typical Luther, Jocelyn, Kool & The Gang type stuff. I know for a fact that many of the people at Ian's wedding wouldn't be impressed with that at all. Likewise at my b/day party last year, many of my friends are into similar stuff that I'm into and so a mate of mine who was the dj, played this stuff (Funk, rare-groove, modern soul, reggae, lovers-rock etc). Not a Shakatak, Village People or J-Lo record in sight There were probably a few of the people I invited who maybe weren't into it, but hey, I laid out a load of money for that party, the first party I'd had for many years, why should I listen to some commercial crap that I hear all the time and don't particularly like? Anyway, my mate was right on the ball as the dancefloor was packed the whole night.

I've done a couple of weddings with similar request lists to the one Gary has listed. Both were superb, and at both many of the B&G's friends were indeed in to the same sort of stuff. At one for example the bride asked me to play 2 or 3 tracks from a Pixies album very early on. I had my doubts as to whether this would work or not, but as soon as I played the first track "Debaser" virtually all the guests rushed onto the dancefloor , from there i was able to go pretty deep into a variety of underground & indie type stuff such as the White Stripes, Strokes, Cult, Cure, Smiths, Punk, Doors etc. Dancefloor was packed for most of the night and the B&G were ecstatic at the end of the night that I hadn't played Sophie Stuckup- Bextor & Abba all night like they were dreading and they gave me a glorious reference

I'm very much into the school of thought that a wedding is a special day for the B&G first & foremost and I will try whereever/however possible to keep them happy. I will of course try to also keep the dancefloor as busy as possible and also play as many guests requests as possible, BUT as long as the B&G are happy then that is THE most important thing in my book, and if this means upsetting uncle Sid then so be it

Very well said eskie! Im glad Ian wasnt made to book the venue dj against his better wishes..... Its the venues loss - and now at least Ian can get the dj he wants playing the music he wants.... he is paying the piper and calling the tunes!

Ian Stewart Posted on Sep 24 2004, 02:44 PM

Hi folks

Thought a topic about Playlist belonged in music to leave the weekend gigs a chance to shine a bit

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Darren

There seems to be two very different camps on here now:
We have the CUSTOMER IS RIGHT and the OH MY GOD! camps.

My honest opinion is for both Ian's and Gary's gigs is that I would not touch either.

When I do a gig, I go out of my way to use 24 years of experience to give my customers (ALL OF THEM) a great nights entertainment. To achieve this I need to feel confident about the style of music I am playing. I try to reach everyone, probably using the "Lowest Common Denominator" approach. If I feel that a song fits in, then I will play it, if not I probably will not gamble and loose the dance floor just to pacify one punter.

Ian's gig sounds the better to me, possibly too underground for me, but I would rather play the more "obscure" soul tracks than any of the rock/indie stuff on Gary's list.

How many times have we all done gigs where an unexpected oldie has recieved an enormous cheer when its played...I dont personally think I have ever had an adverse reaction to the tracks Ian has listed, they are all brilliant tracks. How can anyone throw the dummy out at these? Each song has memories attached I'm sure.

As for the Hotel, they are being totally unfair in not allowing Ian to bring in another Disco to the one they have. They wouldn't say "this is the only meal we serve, you have no alternative!" would they? They may have theeir preferences, but surely, thats all they are! I would move the gig Ian (or at least threaten to).

Gary, I am sure you will give your best for these selfish people, BUT, I would have rung them and clearly explained my reasons for not wishing to perform at this function. I would hate it!

Ian, good luck with your celebrations, I am sure the hotel will give in...!!!


PS. I am not available on either of these dates....sorry LOL!

Interesting discussion this, I have been in business for thirty years motor trade, fun fair and music/disco and one thing that has always paid off for me is being honest with my clients. I never take on a job that I can't see through. In this case I would not be the right man for the job and I would tell them. To play a list you need to know each track and where to play it to keep the party going. I would help the B & G find another DJ who specialises in their choice of music. I am never afraid of passing on a job because it woks both ways. I am a god party DJ I make this clear from the first contact with my client. I hope i'm not a Dave Doubledecks that has been mentioned however I am right for the work that I take on and feel happy doing this. I once did a party (suprise) and did not talk to the client direct. He was into northern soul in a big way so when he told me on the night I invited him to look through my music catalogue and pick out a few tracks. I apologised that I did not have a massive collection but he was cool about it, however I always get as much info now before I take a booking. Music is a very personal thing and that is what makes it so interesting. You would be hard pressed to find someone who is a specialist in every type.

My action plan for this is as follows (subject to change, on a whim... ).


1) I'm going to attempt to get ALL of the 28 or so requested tracks, which I didn't already have. The HMV/Wippit/CocaColamusic on-line, legal, payable download services should be able to assist greatly for very little cost compared to me searching and buying a fistful of albums with only one or two tracks each of the tracks which I need.

2) I wont speak to the Bride & Groom about the impossible length (eg: too many tracks for the short gig, until the beginning of the night itself - I dont want to give them the option of making any sort of even wierder lists or contingency plans.

3) I will be distributing request slips to the guests as usual, however I will also be printing out some information slips, possibly on the rear of the request slips, or maybe on a seperate A6 sized form asking the guests not to ask for any of "The following tracks/artists, as the Bride & Groom have specifically asked for these not to be played during "their big day". This should nip any "kylie" requests "in the bud".

4) I will ascertain from the Bride and Groom at the beginning of the night, what percentage of the nights music they want to be "their" music, and what percentage should be for their guests music requests (going along with the "forbidden list" at all times).

5) If the bride & groom choose a percentage that is WAY over 50%, then I might put a copy of their playlist on each table, along the lines of "Here are a list of songs which the Bride & groom have specifically asked for this evening...enjoy!"

In the meantime, I'm down for a lot of swotting up on listening to all the tracks which I dont know well (yet!).



UPDATE: True to my word, I've been "auditioning" the tracks which I was unfamiliar with - its getting easier and easier to whittle down their original 5 and half hours, as some of their tracks contain swearing. Not just the mild stuff, but the sort of "F" words that were 110% responsible for Eamons one-hit wonder being bought by every naughty 10 year old earlier this year. Cakes version of Gloria Gaynors hit "I will survive" is just painful to listen to as it sounds as if the band and the vocals are several pints of beer apart from each other, in terms of timing...

Similarly, if anyone LIKES that TV advert for "Crusha" Milk Shake concentrate, where the cut'n'paste kittens are wearing berets, and playing accordians in a field, then please, rush out and buy, or download the group "ELBOW"'s cover version of Destinys Childs "Independant Woman"...complete with accordians...

I wonder if its too late to say "What List?" at 8:00pm, on the big day...Yes it is...and no, I wouldnt say that.

The two things that I really want are as follows:

On the night, the bride and groom (and their nominated representatives) do NOT start telling me to take off tracks that weren't on their Forbidden list...

On the night, the bride & groom allow me to play a FAIR percentage of their guests requests in amongst the B&G's playlist (excluding "Forbidden" requests of course).

Fingers crossed.

Its worth me adding some background info here.

This particular gig, was passed to me by the venue at which the function is being held. The venue give all Bride & Grooms to-be, a copy of my own Wedding Music Sheet - basically a nicely laid out form which has been adapted and "re-done" several times over the last 19+ years.

The form has all the usual boxes for the happy couple to-be to complete, eg: Their names as they prefer to be called by, eg: Mick instead of Micheal, Lizzy instead of Elizabeth..., "Chosen First Record", "Any records/Music NOT to play" etc... it also has a space (About a third of a side of A4) for music which they would like to hear.

Whilst the "norm" is for these request sheets to reach me several weeks prior to the wedding date, this particular bride & groom only returned their sheet, and the three page attachment, the day before I started this thread/topic.

Like a few of you above, had I known the type of music that they wanted, right from the word "go!" then I would have probably turned this booking down - explaining honestly that I (at that time) didn't have more than 60% of the tracks which they wanted, had never been asked for about 80% the tracks they requested, and overall that I felt that I would not be able to keep all of their guests entertained using the music parameters written down.

However, this couple didn't send me the list early enough for me to turn the gig down with what I would feel would be enough notice for them to find another disco - also I'm not sure that the venue would have smiled on such a practice either. I have to admit that I'm wondering if the late return of the music sheet was deliberate. Could it be that other disco's had already turned them down as soon as an early music list had been unleashed on them ... certainly explains why they kept me in the dark until 2.5 weeks to go...

Gary, you already seem to be getting on top of this, and although it is far from a dream gig, I'm sure that with the work you're putting into this, it will be.

Good luck with the rest of the prep. and I look forward to hearing how the night goes.



Vinnie

The easiest answer when a b&g give you a DO NOT PLAY list - then a guest asks for it... just say to the guest "sorry, but I dont have that track".... Keeps the b&g happy and the guest then cant complain cos you didnt play his/her request!

I'm sure that you are well on top of the job and it will probably turn out nothing like we all imagine. How many gigs actually go as planned, not many. Anyway it's their day and you are without doubt the best person to make it special for them.
Go get em Gary

In that case gazza.. go with my second favourite "excuse"..... just say "Oh, im really sorry, I love that track/artist.... but I tried to cue it up a few minutes ago and it seems that there is a great big scratch on the disc and it wont play!...." - that one always works too!