Something has just happened to me and it has left me absolutely fuming. It has nothing to do with being at a gig or taking a booking or anything to do with my disco work at all. It has, however, affected me - a few hours before I go out to 'perform'. What did happen, could happen at a gig and it WOULD affect my performance then.

I was paying at a local shop, was a quid short do I nipped outside to the van. Came back in and this gentleman was stood looking at something near to the checkout. He was blocking my path so I said "excuse me" and walked past him.

Having paid I was on my way out when he said "Please would have been nice". I turned around and stated how I had said "excuse me". I assumed he hadn't heard me, so there was no malice in my comment. His reply was the same, "I know, a please would have been nice".

I left the shop said something along the lines of "that's terrible" and walked out with him still saying things to my back.

Was I in the wrong? Was the guy right? Should I have said "excuse me please" or is "excuse me" enough when you want to pass someone.

A number of you will be wondering what the fuss is about. Well I'm not aggressive at all and very proud of the way my parents brought me up to respect others and be polite. I am also very sensitive to stuff like this which is why 90 minutes after it happened I'm still quite upset by it all.

My brother-in-law would have simply told him to get stuffed.

Hi

It ain't worth it mate!

Here's a little article I posted ages ago but can't find on here now, not that I searched massively hard, hope it heops.

Darren

Attitude Is Everything by Jim Rohn

The process of human change begins within us. We all have tremendous potential. We all desire good results from our efforts. Most of us are willing to work
hard and to pay the price that success and happiness demand.

Each of us has the ability to put our unique human potential into action and to acquire a desired result. But the one thing that determines the level of
our potential, that produces the intensity of our activity, and that predicts the quality of the result we receive is our attitude.

Attitude determines how much of the future we are allowed to see. It decides the size of our dreams and influences our determination when we are faced with
new challenges. No other person on earth has dominion over our attitude. People can affect our attitude by teaching us poor thinking habits or unintentionally
misinforming us or providing us with negative sources of influence, but no one can control our attitude unless we voluntarily surrender that control.

No one else "makes us angry." We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude. What someone else may have done is irrelevant. We choose,
not they. They merely put our attitude to a test. If we select a volatile attitude by becoming hostile, angry, jealous or suspicious, then we have failed
the test. If we condemn ourselves by believing that we are unworthy, then again, we have failed the test.

If we care at all about ourselves, then we must accept full responsibility for our own feelings. We must learn to guard against those feelings that have
the capacity to lead our attitude down the wrong path and to strengthen those feelings that can lead us confidently into a better future.

If we want to receive the rewards the future holds in trust for us, then we must exercise the most important choice given to us as members of the human
race by maintaining total dominion over our attitude. Our attitude is an asset, a treasure of great value, which must be protected accordingly. Beware
of the vandals and thieves among us who would injure our positive attitude or seek to steal it away.

Having the right attitude is one of the basics that success requires. The combination of a sound personal philosophy and a positive attitude about ourselves
and the world around us gives us an inner strength and a firm resolve that influences all the other areas of our existence.

copyright Jim Rohn International

Having met you Rich, I wouldn't have believed anybody would even have challenged you!.

I would of thought excuse me was enough, but obviosly not for you, so next time dont bother, yell move in there ear

I had a tadoo in a shop doorway I was leaving, when this bird shouted after me,
I couldnt really beleive she was shouting at me although I had said excuse me I still hit off her handbag!
This mad woman went to town, and I stood there in dis-beleif until she called me a Simpleton!!!
Then the doorway really was blocked, with her lying across it!
Zero tolerance me!

Id have stuck a "please" on the end of the Excuse me.

Ive also started adding a countdown of the number of remaining trips Ive got to make through an inconsiderately blocked doorway, if Im carrying gear...

"excuse me please...20 more trips to go"...

"excuse me please, 19 more trips to go..."

Hint..... Hint....

Thanks, Huggy, for those words of inspiration. My attitude is usually exemplory remaining calm in most siutations; what really really gets my goat is unfairness. This guy made me feel like I had been rude to him when I hadn't. That was unfair - if I had stayed in the shop or heard what he had said when I was leaving I really would not be able to account for my actions - I would have absolutely lost it.

Which explains why I left rather than pursuing the conversation.

Chris, due to my size and frame, if anyone stands up to me I fear they must be able to handle themselves , whcih is more than I can do - so I steer well clear!

Paula, very similar situation - I think excuse me is enough, you do to. The guy today didn't and the 'bird' you encountered obviously took offence.

Bringing it back to a DJ situation, should the same thing happen tonight I may just be overly professional and apologise profusely for being so rude - but inside I would be thinking "pompous tw*t".

Beginning to get over it now. Thanks guys.

Just read your post Gary and it fits with something a mate said to me. If you put please on the end of "Excuse me" it sounds sarcastic. Walking up and down repeatedly saying "excuse me please" really does sound like your saying "get out of the bloody way, you morons"

I tend to say excuse me please. Dunno why?!
The person in the shop obviously was a hole! Working in retail i find thats where the rudest people tend to be CUSTOMERS! Especially in big queues and kiosk q's!

Something that hasn't been conveyed is the tone of voice that was used - you can have:

'Excuse me'

'EEExxxxxxxxxxcccccccuuuuuuusssssseeeeeeeee MMMMMMMMMeeeeeeeee'

'Excuse ME'

'EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!'

or 'Just get out of the way - Please'

PaulS

Then you have the annoying American-ised answer to end all arguments...


Whatever...

Whatever...

Whatever...

Whatever....

Which is basically code for "I am losing this arguement, but can't think of anything mature to say!"

Perhaps the person simply didnt hear - so rather than make a big song and dance about it, its probably better just to repeat and add please at the at the end of the sentence! Its better to walk away on your own legs than get into a situation that could end in violence.

hi,

i have noticed seem to be very rude in general these days, I hate it when you are in a shop browsing and standing looking at a display, and someone steps infront of you and stands right in front looking at the same display, i doint think people even know that they are being rude....another hate of mine is in the supermarket when people expect yu to move out of their way as you walk towards them in the aisles with your trolley, they make no effort to step aside and expect you to be the one giving way.

The other day I was doing my shopping and twice a person travelling in the opposite direction to me just didnt budge as we walked towards each other, first time i gave way, no comment, second time against my bettrer judgemnet I gave way but said in a loud voice, "thnakyou is customary", the third time I wasnt budging and ramnmed their trolley, they were so shocked......it made mae laugh.

another time i was parked at the services having a break and this woman in the car next to me got out of her car, as she did she really rammed her door into mine, it made the car shake, I got out and told her that i was unhappy with what had happened and she accused me of being a rude young man!

I hate rudeness, and must say that i am getting less tolerant and more assertive.