Heard a few in my time...

1) "yeah mate...I taught Pete Tong how to DJ"
2) From a guest in the crowd at a Wedding "I DJ at all the top Nightclubs in the UK"
3) "I work 7 nights a week DJing in NightClubs - oh tonight, I've got a night off"

What's the best you've heard?

"The guy paying you has just had to nip out!"

"I'm sure we agreed payment by 30 day invoice"

I don't think so somehow.

QUOTE

"I'm sure we agreed payment by 30 day invoice"

No problem, but there is a £25 admin charge for monthly accounts, and I can send you the credit reference forms tomorrow morning, OK.

What about "Is a cheque ok?" when you have already discussed prior to the gig, and stamped on your contracts CHEQUES NOT ACCEPTED FOR BALANCE OF PAYMENT which have been signed and returned!

I appreciate that not all clients are like this and that this is only a chat about the one's who take the michael!

"This lot is worth a few quid, but I spose your proper job helps pay for decent gear like this" GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I don't have that one - best yarn ever

Lot of money spent here! for a hobby...
I paid your mate/dad (when he used to come along) Yeah course you did, now pay me unless you wanna be incased in a speaker cab for the rest of your life

& as a joke, it's been cancelled did we forget to tell you, not funny at the time considering I'd drove 60 miles to get there.

"my cheque book was too big for my evening bag"... yes madam, but seeing as I dont accept cheques on the night and you were told payment by cheque is to be made seven clear days prior to function, I will be happy to call and collect from your home tommorrow but dont forget to add the extra £25 charge on top of my fee!

QUOTE (kazzachi @ May 21 2003, 10:17 PM)

"my cheque book was too big for my evening bag"... yes madam, but seeing as I dont accept cheques on the night and you were told payment by cheque is to be made seven clear days prior to function, I will be happy to call and collect from your home tommorrow but dont forget to add the extra £25 charge on top of my fee!

well go & borrow some money from the other guests then, you owe me £250, that £1 each from each guest, I'll ask them if you want.

all of a sudden the money arrives

another one I had was "well the guy who organised you owed me seventy quid so I have taken it out of your fee so you can get it from him"........ Err no! You pay me my full fee before I start playing - what the hell had it to do with me if the guy who booked me owed him money or not.....!

Talking of handbags my wife can fit speakers into her handbag never mind a cheque book

I did a gig fo some accounting firm one night and they used my cash fees to put on a free bar
I had to invoice the the do to them and waited a month to get paid.

I had one where the groome came up at the beginning and said he'd spent all his cash, and would i take a cheque.

answer no, no cash no dj was my answer (the gig was in an awful hall in the middle of the ruffest councel estate in Basildon.

i sat in my van & waited.

within 10 mins he had the cash.

in most cases they try it on.

really hard situation to be in - Thankfully I mostly work in hotels so if the client "forgets" to pay, the hotel have all payment details and I say "no problem, I will ask the hotel to add it onto your credit card"..... funny how they "find" the cash! I only ever refused to play before I was paid once - that was for a rugby club and I knew that if I didnt get my money up front I would never see it - it took them all of five minutes to get it!

this was years ago, i was only 19 at the time.

i'm 6'1, and 16 stone don't get any problems now though.