In all my years as a DJ entertainer, the worst grub I've ever smelt - let alone eat, was actually at a Wedding in Southwark, London.

No names mentioned (for legal reasons - they're both probably dead now from the buffet anyway!)

There was everything and anything on display. Sandwiches, meats, cheese & grapes - the f:cense:ing lot.
It was hot and humid - but the food was already there - covered in foil before we arrived - who knows what ime this lot was laid out!

I set up at about midday with the roadie, left the HOME VENUE where the Wedding was, to arrive back at 5pm for a 6pm start. My then roadie started to moan about the mess and smell.......

The evening guests arrived between 6.30 - 7.00pm too, happy, excited and looking forward to the celebration like any keen guest at a Wedding would....

To cut to the chase - the food may have been there a week or more to my knowledge - it stunk. It really stunk.

Flies were all over the kitchen, 7 or 8 cats were all over the show...Caged Zebra finches were spreading their tray mess everywhere....I thought I was in Baghdad Zoo.

Mixed with the refined throat gripping smell of over filled litter trays from the kitchen, some guests helped clear away the cats, and started washing down the kitchen surfaces and hoovering.

I was actually paid well on the night, but on that occasion I did not eat. Neither did the roadie and we had no interest in food at gigs since.

Mobile Disco London

I think I'm going to be sick . DD - This sounds like an extract from one of the telly programmes - Britains worst ............

Some of the food has been ropey at one or two of my gigs but not like this !!

Personally I never eat the quiche - when I was a kid this was always called 'flan'. The thought of it always made me sick at school and I've avoided it ever since.

I'm mainly on the Hotel Circuit now, which is ~~Fairly~~ safe food wise (especially after to do, when they give you the run of the kitchens....yeeeeehaa!

But I remember all those village hall do's, the family get-togethers, where each member of the family brought platefuls of home made "stuff" to the hall, hours before the show... it brought about a golden rule for any of my roadies and I:

Never eat the chicken drumsticks, they never survive the afternoon out of the fridge.

...and if the sandwiches are soo dried up and crispy, that you cant tell the difference between them and the Samosa's....best just dim your lights down low (for a slow spot maybe) and send your roadie out under the cover of semi-darkness, to half-inch the whole platter of Pineapple and Cheese on sticks.

Oh yuck,
I'm surprised you dont take a packed lunch with you.
I've seen some mankey food to, hair the lot, Yuck.
But I'm one of those! who is carefull of what I eat only because I'm allergic to things,

& you cant have a dj/kj having an allergy reaction half way through your party!

For some of the hotels we use the service corridors to move our equipment. This sometimes involves travelling thru the kitchen area. Having seen what goes on & the state of many of them it's very rare now that we eat the venues food.
On 1 occasion we had to hold our breath each time we went past and this was a 5 Star hotel!

As a mobile DJ you do get subject to some of the crappiest looking food ever cooked. 2 weeks ago I did a small party in a pub near Worthing, Sussex. The sandwiches were damn awful, thankfully, there was a rather large supply of freshly cooked sausage rolls, chicken wings, samosas, chicken tikka and more.

I actually blame the size of my girth on damn buffet's - some are just too good - hence my next post....

Reference to Karaoke and food, I remember a competition where one singer sang whilst eating an Egg Mayo Sandwich.

It was very disgusting, yet, very funny in a sick kind of way!!!

With all the Salminela scares back a few years ago about egg sandwiches etc (egg-cetera), what was the kara-yokey track he'd chosen? "I will Survive"?

Sorry... ...couldn't resist...

That's why i don't go to buffets unless i know someone whos gone and tried it before (i'm not THAT suicidal ) I usually get some food packed...much safer that way!

Must admit with buffets both I and the roadie will most anything except chicken in any form, eggs, or fish tuna salmon etc. Too risky, who needs the next fortnight off with food poisoning?

Must admit the worse place I ever saw was when I was working in a Chinese rest in Wickford, I had to bring the gear in via the Kitchen. I could never understand why they had so much chicken in ordinary buckets all over the floor. You can bet I never ordered a meal from there again........

Oh Nige! Somebody was reccommending a restaurant over there to me on Sat night too. Hope its not the same one!!

QUOTE (DjbigNige @ Jun 2 2003, 11:07 AM)

Must admit the worse place I ever saw was when I was working in a Chinese rest in Wickford,

which restaurant was that, I live in Wickford

Maybe it's just luck, but i've yet to experience bad buffet food. In two regular hotels i get to have the same meals as the guests if i want (roasties mmm).

I also have yet to experience bad food although I do remember one occasion where the sausage rolls had some weird stuff in them!

As I usually only do functions at Hotels and golf clubs etc the buffets are usually ok.
I did one hotel in Great Barr once where the B&G had paid for 120 guests and I would guess that about 150 turned up. The first 70 or so guests piled the food up on their plates to silly ammounts resulting in the food running out really quickly. There was then nearly a riot when the Brides father threatened the manager!

I have done some military balls that have been catered for by the Army, boy they know how to do a spread!! Even had full breakfasts at 4 am!!!

Kingy I done something similar but for the RAF and I had the offer for a 5 course meal! My it was lovely!

That certainly cheered me up! Sat reading through that made me laugh lol. Litter Tray smell!
The only bad smell I've ever experienced from a buffet is it smelling like School Dinners or Hospital food. Sometimes I do take my own food in a lunchbox like pizza or sandwiches cos I've got to eat and dont have time before a gig.
The best one i have ever done is at Horwood House in Little Horwood, Milton Keynes. All the buffet food was cookd freshly and put out. When the food went cold they threw it away! Was very nice!!

I did a disco about 20 years ago for a bunch of jokers who put out cat treats in bowls, they were a great success and were eaten up really quick too


And I used to work for a bloke who always has a sandwich toaster with the disco, that way he could eat those curly sarnies at the end of the evening.

Well, I work in a restaurant, so don't find somethings too shocking anymore

Never had a worry with dodgy buffets just yet, but I suppose my time will come